brakecrashburn

hisgloryappears@wordpress

And I’m Singing to the God who brings redemption to the nations
Kings and oceans bow to Him in praise
And I’m Singing to the God who wrote the book on our salvation
To the One who covers me in grace
I’m Singing

is an awesome God.

“now you know why all your friends did so well for the O levels and you did so badly. now you know why all the wrong questions came out for you. now you now why you were sick when all your friends went to compete. God is trying to teach you a lesson.”
it’s very sad that somehow, after 50 years of going to church and more than 10 years of studying the bible, the God they know seems to seek retribution. i don’t know why i see my O level score as a blessing and yet they see it as a curse, i see my being sick as an opportunity to spend time with God and they see it as punishment. it’s very weird. she said that i show one side of myself to my friends and another to my family. all i was trying to tell her was that she didnt have to pretend to be who she is not just because her bible study ‘friends’ were around. it’s quite funny actually. at home she’s always screaming her head off and telling me off. then when the phone rings, she’s all smiles, talking with this fake accent and telling her friends how God is so good and how He works in His own time etc. i know my parents think i’m a hopeless child who has no future, they sometimes tell me things as if to comfort me ‘because i’m not in jc’. but my Father in heaven tells me that my future is decided and it is as bright as the brightest morning star. sometimes i ‘answer back’ and tell them of the God i know but they seem to think that i’m deceiving myself. obviously their minds are set on the idea that God is out to get me for whatever wrong i’d done to them or whatever. somehow i don’t recognize this ‘god’ because the God i know works only for the good of those who love Him.

doh.

i centered my assignment around how Jesus transformed my life and got a respectable C. the thing is, my tutor was expressing how he detested people writing about religion in their assignments and i honestly thought i was going to fail. wahaha God is good, all the time. and besides, Christianity isn’t a religion. It’s a relationship.

the past week has been a humbling experience. i stayed at home with an mc (today marks the end of it’s 6-day-long reign) and so i had more than enough time to think about life. what i want to do with my life, what i want to do in the lives of others, how i could live my life to glorify my Lord. then yesterday i went back to the doctor’s for a checkup because my cough was not going away. (it’s been with me for more than a month now) at the end of the consultation, i took a chance and told him about the race i had to be at today, how i take part every year and how i was doing a relay this year and stuff. he said no. i was honestly holding back tears. i hate it when i have to miss races and i get very emotional when i actually do. what made it worse was knowing that i’d be letting two others down this time. i wasn’t feeling my best yesterday afternoon. but God made a way and we worked something out, though i still didn’t get to go down. i thought about how at church they tell us that the only answers God gives are “yes” and “amen”. i was wondering why God always forgot to answer me. then i remembered to look to the end of job. i once said that i’d live my life for Jesus and though i need to be repeatedly reminded, i’m glad i made the choice to. i also had to remind myself that when God seems to ignore my request or when he seems to say no, He is protecting me. i could have very well had an asthma attack if i’d gone ahead and rode today, now that i think about it. (yeah my asthma’s back. but that doesn’t mean that it has to have a hold on me. By Jesus’ blood, this sickness has already been cured.)