God speaks
i don’t know what to think. if i’d achieved the set of results i did for this common test last year, i’d probably on top of the world right now. i don’t know why i’m expecting so much from myself now, i’m actually beating myself up over not getting an A+ (i missed by 0.67% ). i didn’t even take this subject for the Os and i think i’m actually doing way better than people who did but……. why . ok, so to make matters worse, today i woke up at 8.10…when i was supposed to be in school at 8 to deliver my final project for my IS module. So i cabbed to school and stuff feeling quite awful already and just so you know, my presentation didn’t go well… in fact it went horribly and grrr the normal me would still be smiling and skipping about because i would’ve forgotten about the whole incident already but nooooo. i feel quite gross now because i keep picturing my gpa and how this is gonna ‘dramatically’ affect it.
enough about that, i just stopped typing to ask God why i’m feeling this way, why this is happening and He just reminded me “when things don’t turn out the way you want them to, my child. know that i’m still there and that you’re living out the magnificent plan i had for you even before you knew you existed.” then being my demanding self i asked God to tell me something new, something i’d never heard. He said “no, listen to me, I am here. there’s no need for you to feel this way.”
sometimes i feel so stupid when God has to remind me time and again to let Him do the work. it’s happened countless times and i honestly don’t know when i’m gonna finally learn to truly let God be God because ultimately, He is God and I am not.
