brakecrashburn

No weeping
No hurt or pain
No suffering
You hold me now, You hold me now

i just came across a twitter site that really made me think. “Man made god. I made god worthwhile. You should be thanking me.” This satan character claims that God is a character we created using our imagination. I am confused. If man made God then who made man and who made satan? The God i know is full of grace and power, He heals the sick, He gives me strength. The God i know is my creator, He is the beginning and the end. Look around, if man made god, it is comparable to saying that man made everything that God created. i don’t see man placing new stars in the sky or even raising mountains from the ground. “Do unto others as they have done to you.” it is easy to hurt others as they have hurt you but it is only by the strength of God that we are able to love and thoroughly forgive others and it is only by grace that is in Christ Jesus that we are able let go of instances that we would otherwise cling on to and be burdened with our entire lives. “You’re beginning to freak even ME out. That’s hard.” The God i know is perfect, He created everything and as far as i know, He’s never been freaked out. He is all-knowing. and so today, i delight in the unfailing love of God who takest away the sins of the world, who has granted all of us an unexplainable peace that could only be found in Him. i delight in the fact that the only One for me is Jesus and that in persecution does not trouble me. ” The bible is a fictional book of fables meant to control the masses through fear of persecution.” In God, there is no such thing as fear. In God i am strong, indestructible.

Now forever to be loved
To walk with You for all my days
There’s no greater love than this
You are the Author and the Way

i don’t know what to think. if i’d achieved the set of results i did for this common test last year, i’d probably on top of the world right now. i don’t know why i’m expecting so much from myself now, i’m actually beating myself up over not getting an A+ (i missed by 0.67% ). i didn’t even take this subject for the Os and i think i’m actually doing way better than people who did but……. why . ok, so to make matters worse, today i woke up at 8.10…when i was supposed to be in school at 8 to deliver my final project for my IS module. So i cabbed to school and stuff feeling quite awful already and just so you know, my presentation didn’t go well… in fact it went horribly and grrr the normal me would still be smiling and skipping about because i would’ve forgotten about the whole incident already but nooooo. i feel quite gross now because i keep picturing my gpa and how this is gonna ‘dramatically’ affect it.

enough about that, i just stopped typing to ask God why i’m feeling this way, why this is happening and He just reminded me “when things don’t turn out the way you want them to, my child. know that i’m still there and that you’re living out the magnificent plan i had for you even before you knew you existed.” then being my demanding self i asked God to tell me something new, something i’d never heard. He said “no, listen to me, I am here. there’s no need for you to feel this way.”
sometimes i feel so stupid when God has to remind me time and again to let Him do the work. it’s happened countless times and i honestly don’t know when i’m gonna finally learn to truly let God be God because ultimately, He is God and I am not.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
PSALM 30:11