Archive for April 2009
today, i am very proud of myself
today i woke up, went to school, attended lectures, tutorials, had lunch, bought books. like any of the other first days of school. but at 4.45pm i said something that really made me realise how much my Lord, Jesus has changed me as a person (for the better of course!). i had to go for an interview which was supposed to be a ’simple interview just to get to know you better’. i did not prepare myself for the interview.
so my interviewer asked me this question, “Who is the single most influential person in your life?”
without much thought/evaluation of my choice, i said, “Jesus Christ”. only after these two powerful words had left my mouth did i realise what i had just gotten myself into. i have to admit that the thought of whether she was a christian etc did run through my mind. but immediately after these malevolent thoughts had found a way into my head, i felt this lingering peace. and i remembered, “Therefore, everyone who acknowledges me before people I, too, will acknowledge before my Father in heaven.” and that’s really all that matters. i am happy.
YOU MAKE THE SUN SHINE
I can sing ’cause You pick me up
Sing ’cause You’re there
I can sing ’cause You hear me, Lord
starting to realise
the ____ “brand name” doesn’t always do you good. especially in you’re not where “you’re supposed to be”. so far, all i’ve gotten in response when i’m asked where i was from have gasps/”oh your english must be damn power right”/awkward stares/isolation/”what are you doing here”/… … i’d just like you to know that it does not mean that i have to exactly fit the ____ stereotype just because i come from there.
my tutor just today indirectly directed something at me/maybe not me? “i dont care if your father makes (this amount of money), i’m not going to treat you like a prince/princess just because you come from some “super” school. I DON’T OWE YOU A LIVING. i hate those snooty (students from elite schools), they think they’re so good.” and all i said was that i was from ____ and i lived along ____ rd… because he asked.
people somehow automatically assume that i’ve paid my way through life and that i’m going to continue to do so, they also assume that my favourite pastime is shopping (before i had a chance to say anything). )’:
it’s honestly very, very, very heartbreaking.
although i don’t agree totally with how my alma mater was run, she is afterall my alma mater and i don’t wish for this shit to continue, really.
(set free my heart burdened by these chains, that i may fly. and as free as a bird i will be)
more than that
stop looking at your scars.
now, look at the stars and count them if you can, so shall your blessings be.
(And I need You more than ever, so I fall to the ground cause I want to be better. Though You take me as I am, you deserve more than that)
SO INCREDIBLY JOYOUS
JESUS REIGNS JESUS REIGNS I SAW HIM AND IT WAS A MAGNIFICENT SIGHT I WITNESSED HIS LOVE LIKE NEVER BEFORE. REJOICE! REJOICE! AND AGAIN I SAY, REJOICE!
Come Holy Spirit
Fall afresh on me
Fill me with Your power
Satisfy my needs
Only You can make me whole
Give me strength to make me grow
Come Holy Spirit
Fall afresh on me
&^%#$%^&$#@#$%^&*&^%$
omg they were seriously conversing in chinese. on top of that, they asked me whether i was a foreigner and why i spoke with an accent. omg !@#%%%%%%^*%&^$#%@ fight KEW fight KEW fight KEW. WHAT THE HELL MAN !@#$&*&^%$# holy shit do i even look like a frickin international student wtf ):< (ok something just happened i am extremely pissed off urgh i could strangle someone)
on another note: DEAR GOD I LIFT THIS DAY UP TO YOU. I FEEL SO HELPLESS/MF-ING SHITTY/PISSED PLEASE INTERVENE.
you put the stars in the sky and you taught them to shine.
All the oceans and the seas know the sound
Of Your beautiful voice
And if You tell them to be calm and be still
They have no other choice
a week ago, i prayed for His love to fall afresh on me. and oh boy did He do that. this morning (at an ungodly hour by my watch), i marvelled at a perfectly orchestrated sunrise and that was enough to wake me up, rejuvinate, revilatise me inside out and outside in. and again i wonder: how could a love like this exist? as i approach my 24th hour of being awake, i remember that God is my strength, my everlasting source of crazy love and my salvation. oh happy day, happy day, You’ve washed my sins away.
