brakecrashburn

We’re gonna dance dance dance in the freedom we know
We’re gonna dance dance in the freedom we know
We’re gonna dance dance dance in the freedom we know
Because the freedom we know is gonna last forever

We’re gonna dance dance dance in the freedom we know
We’re gonna dance dance in the freedom we know
We’re gonna dance dance dance in the freedom we know
Because the freedom we know is gonna last forever

主，您知道我其实很虚弱。今天真的不是最好的一天。当我正要放弃，正要哭，您提醒我–要记得依靠您。因为我自己一个人不行。其实，我知道您非常的，非常的爱我可是我不知道为什么总是忘记。每当我最后记得瞻仰你，您每次都原谅我 ,而爱恋地拥抱我说，“傻孩子不要哭，不用担心。爸爸在这儿，爸爸在这儿。” 赞美赞美耶和华，我要唱耶和华的大慈爱。

yet i tend to forget. (i feel like i’ve let you down this week because i let them get to my head. i know that i will never be worth any less than them in your eyes so why i did i let the situation get so out of control) sin can only bring about sin consciousness and today, i am well aware. even though i know that bcause jesus died for me, i am the righteousness of God, i let sin overcome me. i am ashamed. so this i pray: that God’s love would fall afresh on me right now and that i would make full use of everyday as i had initially planned to.
zzzzzzzzzzzz well, this kinda sucks. (like how feeling useless is like)

you know how it is when you’re crazy over someone and you find out that that person feels the same way about you and you’re all high on puppy love. i feel like that every time i remind myself how immensely Jesus loves me and i end up smiling to myself and writing posts like these. i feel so greatly blessed and deeply favoured that i don’t have to go out looking for love in odd places because i know that the love i’m ultimately looking for is already locked up safety in my heart, for evermore. because i know and can recognise His voice, now i’m starting to see that everything that happened was a blessing and i’m very happy.
tonight(thismorning), i am c-c-crrrazy in love with Jesus. and i want to be for the rest of my life.

1to10 this week:
1)He is my strength when i realise time and again that i cannot do this alone.
2)He clears my mind when i’m in a daze. He keeps me looking to Him and thinking straight.
3)He blocks out negatives because they’re honestly not worth my time.
4)I love the King and the King loves me.
5)I want to redefine the term ‘living bold for Christ’.
6)The world is not enough for me.
7)Every day i walk with you, my Lord.
9)I am starting to see your work manifest.
10)You are an awesome God.

so right now i’m in this bubble where i’m still hanging out with the old pals but i know that in < a month i’ll have to step out of the bubble and be prepared for a huge culture shock. i wish i could say that i was prepared/not scared but i’m not. i’m honestly shaking inside and i really just dont wanna face it. just a few minutes ago i was talking to the president of np’s cf over msn and she told me that they planned a pre-orientation bbq at pasir ris park and she asked if i could make it. i sheepishly replied that i don’t really know where pasir ris is and that i didn’t know how to get there.

i now realise how honestly i’ve been living in a seperate world for the past 16 years of my life where outings only took place at places like orchard road, holland village or marina bay. anything outside those areas was considered foreign because no one knew how to get anywhere else. unless we cabbed, that is. (but i bet i’ll be the biggest joke if i cabbed anywhere now) )’: i really have to learn to be less elitist because i’m gonna have to face the fact that people actually speak mandarin out of chinese class and i’m just gonna have to suck it up and i guess try to fit in? oh Lord, how i need you now. (please dont judge me but people actually add in ‘ba’s and ‘ma’s at the end of their sentences. i’m not used to it!!)

EDIT/
i just flipped open my notebook and this is what i saw:
when you are feeling isolated, know that God is preparing you for greater things. Every thing must be done God’s way and in His time.

then i look below:
GOD IS OMNISCIENT: He predestined/for knew(proverbs 8:29) He is all knowing.
(at this point i am smiling to myself because JESUS CHRIST YOU NEVER CHANGE, YESTERDAY TODAY THE SAME. i am amazed at how quickly God works when we are needy and hungry for His peace. almost instantly He answered my prayer. and by instantly i mean 3 minutes. gosh i am utterly speechless.)

You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
With my God I can scale a wall.
Psalm 18:28-29

life has been really good and God has been just awesome, as usual. new opportunities and countless blessings continue to be showered upon me and my faith that God had a plan for me in my new school is just growing by the second. what was just a minute speck of hope has blossomed and grown into earnest fervour that my time in the new school will be put to good use. it’s funny how God works and i have to learn never to question His ways because what initially seemed like sadness and grief has now become excitment and with this new found excitment, i am discovering ‘hidden’ blessings–a clear sign that this is the path that he had laid out for me from the very beginning.
everything happens for a reason and i am a living testimony to this. and i now know that nothing can derail us from fulfilling God’s plans so don’t you dare tell me that it’s my fault that i got what i scored, that i deserved it for not listening to you, that it is the punishment i deserve. because i can safely say that this is God’s plan for me and if so, how dare you be that weapon formed against me. (no weapon formed against me shall prosper) i have immense faith that great things will come out of this and again, i am excited.

spirit now living and dwelling within me, keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus’ face. Let not the things of this world ever sway me, i’ll run til i finish the race.

today, i woke up to a beautiful day, a day my Father created specially for me. today, i woke up to a blue sky and to the most amazing creatures that FLY, my gosh, they FLY. how wonderful is my God? today, the number of marvellous things i saw greatly outnumbered the ‘unfortunate’ events encountered. sometimes i wonder why i look forward to the end of a day. everyday should be as wonderful as the previous, afterall, the day was created by God most high.  even if things that happened during that ‘bad’ day were to discourage me, shouldn’t i still lift up my hands in praise and awe? the world isn’t any more/less beautiful on any particular day, i should really start getting that into my head.

(The train of his robe fills the temple with glory
Heavenly hosts fall before him in worship
Crying Holy,Holy,Holy is the Lord God Almighty)

——->angels rejoice and the clouds will be filled with the wonder of your name, the wonder of your name.